Saturday, 15 November 2008

SHAVING PARTY

Hello All,
Some of you have asked me why there's a content warning when you click on my blog. I dunno really, but what I will say is, I sure hope no one's eating while reading this entry, or you'll have to suffer the consequences, when you see the contents of your stomach on your key board. So be warned! 
Well, it's that time of the month when me and the man have our little shaving party. Yup that's right. Some of you with the most sordid minds are conjuring up all manner of filth and a few years ago you may have been right, but now? Sweet fanny adams! For my over sea's readers that's the Brit way of saying F*** all politely!

Both of us used to be blessed with wonderful barnet's, that's cockney for Barnet fair, hair! I've always gone for men with dark hair, if its curly its a bonus and Phil had the darkest curliest hair of anyone I knew. UNGHHH, I loved it! 
What I didn't know was that he was the vainest as well. He used to use products on his hair called things like Stay sofro and TCB, all these products he used to buy in the Afro Caribbean barbers near where we lived years ago. I used to watch in amazement as he used to stand there, hair drier in hand and I swear the bloody stuff used to smoke on his hair as he dried it. 
As for me, I used to employ the skills of Ricky, one of my friends who was/is  camper than a row of tents, but a good hair dresser. With his nimble fingers and the appliance of science I was a blonde beach bum, with tousled blond locks.
Me and Phil were a great team, him with his broad shoulders and thick cyclists legs, black curly hair and hairy chest, and me? Slim blond and sexy, what a pair we made! Now we're overweight and bald and never turn anyones heads apart from Phil breaking wind in the supermarket last week and then blaming me!!!

So, we have this little routine. Trust me this is true and no, it NEVER leads to any kind of nuptials. Ready with your sick bags?

We're both nude, I can't cope with cut hair in me Calvin's, it itches like a bad dose of crabs and nope, I've never had em, ok? 
I kneel down in front of him and he comes up behind with clippers in hand. We both have a number two. He shaves me all over and then, does my side burns and eye brows with a number one. He then vacuum's my scalp back and shoulders and I repeat the process with him. The only difference is, I just let him do it to me in silence and then he moans the whole time I'm doing his head.
Every other month I do his back too. He really needs it waxing but apparently, that's for girls, I MEAN HOW MANY GIRLS DO YOU KNOW WITH HAIRY BACK?

It's then shower a shave and a shower. Bootiful!

Tomorrow we go see Flow again, she's canceled meals on wheels, I swear she did it so people will take her food round to cook. She's on the mend but not eating enough, or doing the exercises on her arm. So it's a pep talk from me and then we have to watch her as she scrunches up her face and I get a mouthful of abuse. So why can't anyone in his family do that?

Thanks so much for going to visit my lovely SIL, blog of her new life with my bro and their kids in France. If anyone of you missed the link it's


Have a great weekend all......... PP xxxxx

15 comments:

Mr Brainwhispers said...

"I kneel down in front of him and he comes up behind with clippers in hand. We both have a number two."

Ha ha ha...I have a dirty mind.

Allison said...

What, no pictures of the shaving party? LOL JK I'm thankful for that. : ) Glad Flow is on the mend. Have a happy weekend. Luv ya!

Marty said...

Hi Gaz,
Believe it or not, I was just thinking "I wonder whether Gaz knows there's a content warning on his blog" when up popped your entry! You can remove this by going into settings, then -- under the tab marked "basic" -- scroll down to where it says "adult content" and change the setting to "no" using the pull down menu. On the other hand, leaving it as is might feel somewhat liberating ...
Best,
Marty
P.S.: I just visited your SIL, thanks for the suggestion ...

ecccch said...

Reading about you's clipping your eyebrows raised mine!...LOL

Leigh said...

It's a good thing I finished the popcorn, I'd have choked on it again! I must be one of the sordid mind! ;)
:) Leigh

Amy said...

You know, one time Jesse asked me to give him a haircut....so there I was feeling all proud of myself....and off I went, clippers in hand. By the time I was done, he was crying. He never asked me to cut his hair again. LOL

Marie said...

I do Todd's head with a number one. OH MY GOODNESS!!!!!! That sounds so naughty! You are corrupting me lad! I meant with the clippers! *blush*
love,
MAJ

LYN said...

number 2 while bentover...LMFAO!!!!

marti said...

the number 2 kinda got me, bro......
Marti

marti said...

I havent quite figured out how to comment back on comments around here...but this is in answer to your comment about my baby' leaving for college....it will be so odd because we do everything together
I asked Tom "what will I do?" and the poor man said"talk to me?" God love him!
Marti

Yasmin said...

Lmao, you brought back memories I used to use stafro, in the days when I had a curly perm(shuddering) though not shuddering at your shaving party....lol what people do behind closed doors and all that.....
enjoying your SIl blog, hope your Aunt Flo is doing better.

Yasmin
xx

Sheria said...

I expected pictures. I just don't think that there is enough adult content. Of course, I do have a filthy mind.

You are a sweetheart for your efforts with Aunt Flo. Keep at it, I suspect that she loves the attention from you.

Indigo said...

Aunt Flo is lucky to have you dear one. I get the manly attitude coming off Phil. Paul (bless him..sigh) is a hairy ape. It's hilarious that he is bald, it's literally the only missing hair. I often joke all the hair on his head decided to relocate to his body (he would kill me if he knew I told anyone). Like Phil it would be unmanly to get it removed, shaved what have you.
So at least yours allows you to bend him over and do the deed (I couldn't resist)...(Hugs)Indigo

Sheria said...

I received a blogging award from a blogger named Indigo and I had to pick 7 people that I thought worthy of the award. So, I picked you as one of my 7 because I think that you are a good writer and I enjoy reading your blog. Of course now I've obligated you to pick 7 people but I know that you will forgive me for that. Of course, you could choose to join Marc the curmudgeon and not select anyone and that's okay too. Stop by my journal to understand what I'm babbling about.

Gillie said...

Sweet fanny adams...really means FU? :)

I could make so many commments on this entry...but it looks like they have all been made! :)
xx