Some of you have asked me why there's a content warning when you click on my blog. I dunno really, but what I will say is, I sure hope no one's eating while reading this entry, or you'll have to suffer the consequences, when you see the contents of your stomach on your key board. So be warned!
Well, it's that time of the month when me and the man have our little shaving party. Yup that's right. Some of you with the most sordid minds are conjuring up all manner of filth and a few years ago you may have been right, but now? Sweet fanny adams! For my over sea's readers that's the Brit way of saying F*** all politely!
Both of us used to be blessed with wonderful barnet's, that's cockney for Barnet fair, hair! I've always gone for men with dark hair, if its curly its a bonus and Phil had the darkest curliest hair of anyone I knew. UNGHHH, I loved it!
What I didn't know was that he was the vainest as well. He used to use products on his hair called things like Stay sofro and TCB, all these products he used to buy in the Afro Caribbean barbers near where we lived years ago. I used to watch in amazement as he used to stand there, hair drier in hand and I swear the bloody stuff used to smoke on his hair as he dried it.
As for me, I used to employ the skills of Ricky, one of my friends who was/is camper than a row of tents, but a good hair dresser. With his nimble fingers and the appliance of science I was a blonde beach bum, with tousled blond locks.
Me and Phil were a great team, him with his broad shoulders and thick cyclists legs, black curly hair and hairy chest, and me? Slim blond and sexy, what a pair we made! Now we're overweight and bald and never turn anyones heads apart from Phil breaking wind in the supermarket last week and then blaming me!!!
So, we have this little routine. Trust me this is true and no, it NEVER leads to any kind of nuptials. Ready with your sick bags?
We're both nude, I can't cope with cut hair in me Calvin's, it itches like a bad dose of crabs and nope, I've never had em, ok?
I kneel down in front of him and he comes up behind with clippers in hand. We both have a number two. He shaves me all over and then, does my side burns and eye brows with a number one. He then vacuum's my scalp back and shoulders and I repeat the process with him. The only difference is, I just let him do it to me in silence and then he moans the whole time I'm doing his head.
Every other month I do his back too. He really needs it waxing but apparently, that's for girls, I MEAN HOW MANY GIRLS DO YOU KNOW WITH HAIRY BACK?
It's then shower a shave and a shower. Bootiful!
Tomorrow we go see Flow again, she's canceled meals on wheels, I swear she did it so people will take her food round to cook. She's on the mend but not eating enough, or doing the exercises on her arm. So it's a pep talk from me and then we have to watch her as she scrunches up her face and I get a mouthful of abuse. So why can't anyone in his family do that?
Thanks so much for going to visit my lovely SIL, blog of her new life with my bro and their kids in France. If anyone of you missed the link it's
Have a great weekend all......... PP xxxxx