MORNING ALL!

Hello Groovers,

Thank you all for your mails wondering where I'd gone to. Well, nowhere really. We've been busy socially and away for the past two weekends, but to be to be honest, my creative juices had dried up. In turn it put me off reading my fellow bloggers journal's............. Sorry guys.

This weekend was going to be a weekend of catching up with journals, washing, cleaning, bill paying etc but the Friday before last I got a call from Phil's 90 year Mum Florrie

'Is that you boy?' 

'Um yeah Flo, wassup?' 

'Well, instead of you coming to see me next time, can I come and stay with you?' 

'Ummmm, yeah ok, what's the problem?' 

'Oh nuffin, no it doesn't matter'

'Well it does Flo, cos if you don't tell me I can't come over and pick you up ok?'

'Well....... pauses, I'm lonely'

Oh my God, it was like someone shoving a knife in me, I felt so bad.

Last October, she fell over putting her milk bottles out, yeah, we still have milk delivered here. 

She shattered her hip, smashed all her face in and broke her arm in four places. We were on holiday at the time but fortunately, Phil's brother was at hand so she wasn't alone for long.

Since that time, we go and see her regularly and also took her to my folks at Christmas.  She does get visitors everyday, but who say's you can't still be lonely huh? That's a bad state of mind to be in.

I promised to go pick her up to stay this weekend just to get her out and see something different.

When I told Phil, he went mad and said he couldn't afford to take time off work. No problem, I'll pick her up and take care of her, we'll have a good old fashioned Mum and son in law bonding sesh, a girly weekend!

I was up at 5 am on Saturday morning to drive over to hers and then bought her all the way back home. We went shopping and I let her choose what she wanted to have for lunch today, then we walked the mall singing doing the Lambeth walk. I swear people thought we'd been let out of the nut house. By the time we got back, I was just as exhausted as she was.

To see that old girl smile and laugh the way she has warmed the cockles of my heart, I realized it's gonna come to us all eventually. 

Yesterday afternoon she had a little kip and last night I cooked dinner for her and we sat and watched the film she'd picked. I am Legend with the hunky Will Smith (unghhh) 

Why she picked that I don't know but I suspect he does the same for her as he does for me ;-)

She talked all the way through the bloody film and then screamed out everytime a mutant came on the scene, by the time the film had finished, we'd both filled our knickers three times with fright lolol.

I put her to bed at 10.30, weary and tired myself I fell asleep on the couch then dragged my sorry arse up stairs about midnight. 

Phil came in at 6 a.m. and I was up to make him a cuppa to take to bed with him.

That's when he dropped the bomb shell. 

'What time are you running my Mum home tonight?' he asked.

'Ummm, I was hoping that you could take her back so I can have a bit of me time and catch up with a few things?'

His parting words were 'you invited her up for the weekend, I didn't. So you can take her back home too'

With that, he picked up his tea and went to bed.

I can't repeat what what I said under my breath, but he's right, I did ask her up, so tonight I'll take her home and then drive all the way back. 

Then when I finish hacking my husbands miserable moaning body to bits with a rusty chainsaw, I'll clean up and watch the Desperate House wives episode I've taped with a nice glass of wine.

Love ya. PP xxxxxx

SNOW, SNOW, QUICK QUICK SNOW

Morning all, 

My Brain is fried, I HATE WINTER!!!! For years I've struggled with this time of the year and this year more than ever as winter just goes on and on. I find it hard to go out of the front door and face the wind and the cold and just, well, everything. 

So, what has nature given us now? Snow! I've  seen the news and watched how other countries have been looking on in amusement at the foot of snow we've had. 

Ok, so this country does have its bad points and yeah, we do come across as being unorganized. But you have to understand that we don't get any form of extreme weather. 

I posted a year or so ago some pics of my back garden in the snow. We had about two inches, nothing, just a few flurries which went in a day. That was it, just that. 

In the summer it gets nice an warm and yeah humid, VERY humid (we're surrounded by water remember?), but that's it, it's warm, around 85 ish max, maybe 90 in extreme conditions and that's for around two weeks LOLOLOL

Us Brits have a complete mistrust of weather forecasts, as our weather changes so quickly. I'll never forget Michael Fish, our most famous weather forecaster saying that a woman had phoned from France to say a hurricane was on it's way. He said on live TV, 'Madam, we don't get hurricanes in the UK' don't panic its a few strong winds' 

Well.......F*** me, I never slept a wink that night as half of the country suffered a hurricane with 200 year old oak trees coming crashing down, fronts of stores blown in etc. We lost our fence, BBQ, garden furniture and half the roof not to mention my ruby slippers. Thank God our houses are brick built and not timber.

So, as you can see, if they say we have a cold snap with severe snow coming in from Siberia. Out come our sunnies, shorts and flip flops as we think Fhack orf, i'ts gonna be lovely ;-)

HOW WRONG WE WERE! I've worked from home for the last two day as the foot of snow is now solid ice. As we live on a new development, no one owns the roads, so we can't get up the hill to get out into the world.

Am I bovvered? NO! As my Dad would say, 'it's colder than a witches tits out there'. Just how he knows how cold witches tits are I shall never know, but it used to makeme and my brother giggle when we were little.

So witches tits being cold means I can stay inside, and not have to go out in this rancid weather.

Mock us all you want world, this is one Brit that's staying inside. Roll on Spain, only a month to go.........

(While I type, my dear heart is on a mission, he thinks our house is 'filthy' as he put it. I beg to differ, but he's furiously pushing the dyson round and sucking up anything in his path. Oops, there's goes me Calvins!)

Have a good weekend everyone, and if any of you can explain what this Twitter thing is I have been begged to join, please enlighten me as it just seems like glorified email to me?

Love yas, PP xx

LETS ALL CALM DOWN NOW SHALL WE?

Morning Groovy Geezers n Gals,

Well, I hope we're all coming down from our High of  the President being sworn in. I for one have high hopes of him and I know you all do too, but lets please remember, he's human, he's not God. I get the feeling there's such hope pinned on him, if he fails the world will come to an end..... Let's hope I'm wrong.

Well, after recovering from seeing a cat turd a foot long last week. This week's been a bit non eventful. 

We've been invited to our neighbours house warming party tonight. I've already been warned to behave myself and not have too many sherbets, oh to be cared for huh? I don't think those kind words were for me, but instead to warn me not to embarrass myself in front of the man ;-)

There's nothing wrong with having a good time though huh? 

Well talking of good times, I love the flash mob phenomenon that seems to be sweeping the country and T Mobile have cleverly used this as a marketing tool.

Watch the commuters at Liverpool street station how they get caught up in the whole thing. by the end of it the whole station was stomping! Who says we Brits don't know how to have fun!!

www.youtube.com/watch?v=SQJNjCHTjHU&feature=related

Don't know how to put a vid up sorry. Unless someone wants to tell me...... Enjoy 

Gaz xxxxxxx

EASY ON A SUNDY MORNING.

Morning gang!

Tis I the Podgy poof. Guess what? The sun's shining today, its still bloody cold but to feel it on your face is blissssssss. 

We've booked flights to pop over to Spain for 10 days, can you believe 2 return flights for well under £100....... ACE! I think this is the longest we've ever gone without going to our little house and we're both suffering from severe withdrawal symptoms.

So what have I been up to? Eff all. This poxy credit crunch continues to eat into our lives as Phil's job's dire at the moment. No one, I repeat NO ONE is using his services, he's working longer hours for under half his normal pay. I'd love to get all the worlds bankers and put them up against the wall and shoot the Mother F'rs, I'm sure I'm not alone here. 

For those of you who don't know Cockney rhyming slang, a merchant banker is slang for something else here, think about it, what rhymes with banker?........... Yup you got it and thats, what I call the worlds bankers ;-)

We're looking after our neighbours cat while they're away for the weekend, his names Elvis. He's a cute thing, yeah Ok Mary and Holly, I know I ain't too keen on cat's but he's kinda cute and he's a boy cat so he's mischievous. 

So what does he do today while I am preparing his breakie? He does the most enormous shit I have ever seen right on the floor in front of me. Not in his toilet, RIGHT ON THE FLOOR!! I swear if I didn't see him do it I would have thought it was a human turd, it was as long as yer arm and as thick as yer wrist! He must have been holding the thing in for a week and thinks yeah the old poof across the streets looking after me next week end, I'll  make the Mutha scream! And scream I did. The smell of cat food and shit at 7.30 in the morning is NOT a good combination. He would have had my toe up his arse if he hadn't just crapped. I just didn't want anything on the end of my big toe!

Hmmmm, what a thing to talk about on yer blog huh? Oh dear, my second cup of coffee's starting to work, off for my morning constitution. Byeeeeeeeee PP xxxx

FRUSTRATION RULES!

Morning Gang, 

Sorry, but I'm ranting today! I consider myself a calm person, takes things in my stride ya know? 

Ok, so I'm a bit of a worrier, but as Mrs Hatsell my old form teacher put in an end of year report when I was eight, I'm happy go lucky, that's me!

But guess what? Let me phone up a company and be put through to an overseas call centre and I turn into a RABID DOG! 

It's early so I think, I know, (insert a light bulb here) register on line for your credit card, so I can keep track of my air miles instead of waiting for a statement.

So I register.......... No problem there. Ahhhhhh, here we go, I need to phone to activate my registraion. Hmmm, ok, so I ring the number, premium rate of course.

Press option 1 for primary card holder, Press option 2 if you need 'any other service' press option 3 to speak to an account manager, press option 4 to input your card number, press option 5 to input your D.O.B. Press option 6 for your post code. Then press option 7 to hang yourself!

Ring ring, ring ring. 'Hel oh dis is Sharron spik in, ha khan a help hew tody?' In the back ground I hear about a million people in a call center (poor sods)

She avin a larf ain't she? SHARRON? Do me a favour? I would rather hear their own name so at least I know the citi cards ain't taking the piss. Nope, it's Sharon..... Fine.

I then go through the whole proccess again D.O.B. Mothers maiden name this time, post code and then account number. 

Sharron then activates my on line account.

'Is tha eny ting halse ha khan help hew wit tody?' 

'No, actualy Sharron, you have been very helpful, many thanks'

'Did I seff hew whell?' 

'Orally yes' She didn't get the joke! I pmp laughing, but thats just me ;-)

So............. I go on line to see how many air miles I have. WRONG!

It wont work. I go through the whole process again and then guess what? I am CUT OFF! UNGHHHHHHHHHH.

Well 3rd time lucky me thinks, WRONG AGAIN. After going through the whole process with Miranda? LOL. Spell it biatch!

Miranda wants me to go on line again and change my pass word. NO. I'll wait for my Jan statement.

What pisses me of is these people on the other end of the phone are very intelligent, they all have a good education, most speak very good English, but the shitty companies that supply our services and employ them, treat us all with contempt. Isn't this why the world is in such a mess now? Through greedy companies supposedly saving us a few quid, to give us a better service or just trying to syphon off our money for their own greedy causes?

I would much rather have a decent conversation with someone on the other end of the phone what ever country they're in that doesn't just read from a script.

NO CITI CARDS MY PROBLEM WAS'NT SOLVED OK?

Rant over... Phew, I feel much better now. Maybe I'll try and get a new password now ;-)

Have a good weekend gang. PP xxxxxx

AVATARS

Morning Groovers,

I am slowly getting to know my way around blogger and yesterday I did two things. If you look to the left of my ramblings, you can now subscribe to my posts. so if all goes well, when I blog, you get an alert if you're that bothered of course!. Then it's just how it used to be on AOL.

I have also admired for a while now the little dancing Avatar over on Marty's blog http://marty-heardatstarbucks.blogspot.com/ (dunno how to put just the title yet!) 

So yesterday afternoon I put my own on. Ok, it's a little slimmer than me and the hairs darker, but as I still have a passion for Dance/Disco music I thought it was very me...... Now, the only problem is, he's not dancing properly. I've re loaded the poxy thing about 8 times and he just moves like some dilapidated bullfrog. He's supposed to be doing high kicks and spinning round, but he looks like he's just crapped his pants!

Oh well, back to the drawing board......... Have a good Sunday, PP xxxxx

MORNING ALL!

Well Hello Gang,

It's been a while I know but I really need to get back into blogging again. I know it sounds daft but I've missed you all terribly and am still trying to get used to blogger and having to check everyday. 

Very few of you have an alert system that tells me when you blogged. The funny thing is I often read the blog before the alert pops up. I mean talk about taking its time alerting you huh?

I have made myself a promise that I will update at least once a week and also visit everyone blog as regular as a bowel movement! Well, maybe not as regular as mine, but that's another story lololol.

Christmas was a very quiet affair this year with just my Mum, Dad, Phil and his Mum too. Flo is much better now, she has a walking stick that she uses to help her get about and if ya say something she doesn't like watch out!

I ring her every other day to see how she is as we have been worried about her eating. She's lost a stone and a half...... um, 16 pound to a stone....... you work it out. What I observed was she ate my Mum out of house and home, I feel that since she's been out of hospital she just doesn't like eating by herself. There must be nothing worse than having one of your son's watching you eat telling you to eat up and not eating with you.

She ate like a horse at Christmas because it was a more social event. The old girl even ate things that would never touch her lips before, Humous, Salmon mouse WTF was that all about. This time last year her mouth would have been clamped shut as she would never eat that foreign muck! It's funny how spag boll and lasagna aren't foreign in her mind though

We spent NY eve with our friends Michelle and Adam, affectionately known as Chutney and Si............. Don't even ask! It was a very civil affair and not even a hang over the next day.

New Years day we had all of our neighbours round for drinks which turned into a full blown party. OMG, they came at 3pm never left till after midnight, but a good time was had by all. 

That's me updated for all. Taking a leaf out of fellow bloggers Lynn and Dawn blogs, my 5 are

1. This effing credit crunch to end!
   
2. Mine and Phils love to last for ever and I think it may too ;-)
3. To loose at least two stone in weight!!!!
4. Get healthy.
5. Peace in the Arab world, lets hope Obama, might shake the shit out of the middle east huh? 
   

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL MY MATES IN BLOG LAND!

Love ya, PP xxxx