Twice this week she has fallen in her bungalow the second time really badly. Flo refuses to wear her alarm round her neck to press in an emergency, this then alerts a central system that send someone around to see if she's ok. Instead she crawled to the phone, rung her brother who's in his late 80's and got him to come round at 3 am, he then has to press the alarm, but in Flo's eyes thats fine.
The second time she fell, she smashed her face, she is now black and blue down one side of her body. Because of her Grand children and brother being at the hospital to see if she was ok, social services thought she had a network of relatives to take care of her. This unfortunately isn't so. All have demanding jobs with young children. Social support yes, care no.
Because of this I made Phil go and get her on Friday afternoon. She's so frail and has had the stuffing knocked out of her. She thought by coming to us again she was on a jolly, but after her calling for me twice in the night to help her go to the loo, she knew this wasn't the case.
It took me forty minutes to get her down stairs today, so tonight she is sleeping restfully on our couch. Don't worry it's deep and at least she can wash in the cloakroom down stairs tomorrow and it will be easier for me.
Tonight she had to face the indignity of me having to pull down her knickers when I got her to the loo for a wee. She can't even do that now.
I thank my lucky stars I live in a country where health care is free. I phoned social services this morning and they phoned back twice today, the last time being 8.30 this evening, to arrange for her to be reassessed (sp?) on Monday. They are talking of getting her into a rehab home to build up her strength, all which is free. They'll then see what to do afterwards.
We go on holiday this coming Friday and as Phil's brother is on a cruise for a month we talked about canceling. His sons have rallied round and said we must go, they'll look after her if Social services needs more time to find her a place in rehab. I have faith though. The woman on the phone tonight was calm and reassuring. Our social services has taken a bashing in the press recently with the death of a young baby, battered by its drugged up parents, but I have every faith that they will deliver.
I was comforted by Flo's last words before she lay her head on the pillow tonight, she asked for a kiss and as I went to move my head away she whispered in my ear. 'I love you ya know, and if you put me in a home I'll come back and haunt the bloody lot of yas. Remember that wont ya?, And you better tell all the rest of em too'
Yes Flo, I love you too............ Seriously though, I do, Now its time for my bed as well.
PP xxxxxx
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25 comments:
Hi Gaz,
Very sad ... but at least Flo hasn't lost her spirit. Her last comment to you before going to bed definitely seems "in character."
Best,
Marty
Hopefully the re-assessment won't take long, it sounds to me like she should be in a sheltered home, at least she can have her own things about her but ther's a warden on hand to help. She's a tough old bird in spirit, but needs help even if she does come back to haunt you..lol.
Take care
Yasmin
xx
It's a very difficult thing for someone so spirited to lose their independence. You're such a good son-in-law!
I hope the family pulls together while you and Phil get a well deserved break!
Give Flo a hug from a stranger for me, and wish her a speedy recovery.
:) Leigh Hugs to you, too!
What a wonderful and loving son in law you are. It sounds like Flo knows and appreciates that fact as well. How hard it is to see the ones we love getting old and frail. My Todd's Aunt Doris is almost 90 and still lives in her own place. I forget what they call it, but she has her own place and care help that comes in about half a dozen times a day. They do her meals for her, clean her place, help her get ready for bed, and in general just help her to do the things that she can no longer do for herself, but at the same time she is independant and in her own home. Several times a yearshe does go to a care home, just for respite and to have a good visit with friends. It must be a really good home as she sees this as a holiday. She also goes to the same home several times a week for activities. Years ago she made Todd's cousin promise that he would never put her in a care home and so far he's been able to keep that promise.
AWWW...BLESS YOUR HEART...YOU ARE DOING A WONDERFUL JOB PP...I HOPE SS COMES THROUGH FOR YOU BECAUSE YOU DESERVE THE HOLIDAY OF A LIFETIME AFTER THE WINTER YOU'VE HAD! IF I WAS CLOSER I'D BE HONORED TO KEEP AN EYE ON FLO BLESS HER...
The many indignities of old age become just a tad bit more dignified because she has a son-in-law like you. And yes, Flo is a little peculiar, bet Phil is too
;-0.
You know my feelings about government taking control of all healthcare in the USA (no no no), but I could not squeak a word against your national care in this instance.
Your care for her is so beautiful. No conditioned reflex accounts for that. You are just a wonderful, giving man. ~Mary
Oh my Gosh! I love Flo's endearing, very fiesty spirit! She couldn't hope to have had a more loving SIL if she had hand picked you herself. I do hope Social Services comes through with the rehab. She needs time to heal, so she can continue being her fiesty little self. (Hugs)Indigo
Oh I do like Flo she sounds such a lovely spirited lady ~ she appreciates you so much ~ I did like her last words to you though ~ :o) ~ Ally x
Hi Gaz,
It's been a long time since I commented and I haven't been reading too many journals lately but I've now caught up with yours. Poor Flo, she must wonder what's in store for her, she obviously thinks the world of you and you her because you care for her in a way that some son-in-laws wouldn't dream of. I hope something is sorted out for her soon and that you can have a worry-free holiday...you derserve it!
My thoughts are with Flo and you as well Gaz.
If your SS's are like ours, they can move fast if they want to and once they know she can't get to the bathroom (as opposed to loo)unaided they will be on the case.
They WANT people to stay in their own homes, tended by such of their families as can, and (ours anyway) go to great lengths to facilitate that.
She's a canny old lass though, isn't she! "Coming back to haunt you" indeed. My aged mama says the same thing now but up to being about 70 it was "I don't want to be a burden to any of you. You just put me in a home" !!
love, Angie, xx
Flo said she loves ya, and I'll bet she really meant it too. I hope the situation gets worked out the best way possible for all involved.
Keep us posted please. Good to see you my friend.
Hey Everyone,
I am still blogging….. I finally moved my blog to a link that has THE NAME of the blog in it so it looks a lot cooler now that just cmarlow480.blogspot….. Anyways the new blog is at:
http://life-accordingtochristopher.blogspot.com/
Please update your FOLLOWING list, and Google reader's
-- Christopher
Gaz, you are a star taking care of her like that. She definitely needs to be reassessed. Please keep us posted on her progress. Remember, this isn't forever.
I changed the name of my blog. I took my name out of the title. I didn't want anyone to be able to find me so easily by just typing in my name.
New name is: A middle aged mom's upside down world.
New address is: http://amiddleagedmomsupsidedownworld.blogspot.com
If you're a follower you should get updates as you're all still listed, but to be on the safe side, you could delete and re-add yourself if you just have me in your favorites and follow that way, you'll need to add my new address and delete the old.
Missie
don't you ahve a birthday and a wedding anniversary coming up??
i haven't missed them have I??
xx
Hi Hun I found you at last,I hope youre ok keep well zoe xxxxxxx
THANKS FOR YOUR SWEET COMMENTS..AND FOR THE TEXT AS USUAL I TXT YOU BACK BUT KNOW YOU DIDN'T GET IT!!
LOVE YA XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
THANKS FOR YOUR TEXTS..I ALWAYS TEXT BACK BUT I KNOW YOU NEVER GET THEM..ONE OF THOSE MYSTERIES NEVER TO BE SOLVED!!
I MISS YA..WHERE ARE YA PP??
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
I lost all the blogs I had been following, Gaz.....yep, my dashboard is now empty!! GRRRR Luckily, I had made yours one of my favorites, so I was able to find you again.
I hope Flo is doing okay now -- you are an angel to care for her as if she were your own mom.
Did you end up going away? Hope you did and it was fun.
Miss you,
Take care,
Carol
I haven't had much blogging time and haven't had a chance to visit in a while. I do hope all is well at your end.
I hope Flo is doing well, she sounds like my Tia - very fiesty and full of life.
Monica
On the obvious note I empathize with what you're experiencing with Flo. On the other hand I can't help pointing out this is the natural order of life/death/life, yes? For some it's difficult and painful, others zoom through it. Either or, I admire your depth of feeling for the barriers and limitations of others. Good show Gaz!
Come on. Two months, a little hello would be nice.
Gaz, I only wish I had somebody who loved me as much as you do your MIL. God bless you!!! Anne
http://saturdayschild-anne.blogspot.com/
Awwwwww Gaz............ thats so sad. I guess yes it does come to all of us. Could she live in shelted accomadation at all?? at least that way she would have someone on hand more or less.
Flo sounds like a sweetie........i love her spirit, i guess like anyone who has lived through wars you have to have a certain fighting spirit.
Sounds like she has a soft spot for you.... in the nicest possible way.
I hope you manage to get the help that she needs.
Take care
hugs Jayne x
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