FROM THE HEART

Well, so, where do I start? I'm not in the best of moods this evening and have not been in the best moods for day's if not weeks now. I'm not saying I'm depressed, but pretty close to it and on one occasion a few weeks ago I nearly lost it altogether.

For those of you who know me, know over the years I have suffered with this illness on and off and have also been in hospital with it too. Not good, I hated that time of my life and am determined not to go back to that dark place.

A series of events have made me like this, one of them is below.

We moved last year for what we thought was the last time, our plan was to pay off the mortgage, then rent it out and live in our house in Spain. We are very lucky to have two homes, but saying that we have worked hard for them and have never borrowed money off others or got ourselves into large amounts of debt we can't pay back.

All the neighbours were great, we got on with everyone and like most places in the UK now there were people from all over the globe, the mix was great and EVERYONE got on with everyone else and were also very accepting of having two Gay men living on the Estate too, us! We have been known to host one or two parties to which everyone was invited and came too.

The recession hit and everything has gone tits up with the housing market. What I am now going to say may seem racist but read first and make your judgement after. The developer needed money and decided to sell houses through an African agent in Guyana. So what I here you say?

Well, of all the houses occupied, three quarters now have Africans living in them, still so what!

Every single household without exception rents out ALL of the bedrooms and the owners live in the lounges with their families.

So next to us we have a woman with a baby and small child living in one room while she rents out the three bedrooms. There's a five bed house worth over half a million with a den and formal living room occupied by 12 people behind us! The parking is becoming terrible and no one seems to use a tumble dryer as they hang their washing out of the windows to dry and don't even use a washing line!

This was supposed to be a 'prestigious' development which is fast becoming a ghetto. We have all written to the developer who has seen the error of his ways but it's too late. We came home the other evening and were faced with 40 African men all smoking and drinking in the street. Everyone is appalled and we all feel we have been taken for a ride.

So, we are having to move again, we are lucky enough to have sold the house, so fingers crossed we will be out by January.

That's the end of the first part. I will write again tomorrow so I don't bore the tits off you.

PP xxxxx

I'M GOING TO POST...... PROMISE!

Morning Groovers,

So much to tell as things have been so hectic in PP's life. I promise, you will hear from me soon.

LIMBO

Well, good morning!

Yeah I know, I haven't posted for a while. Dunno what's up with me, but I have so much time with Phil as his new job gives him so many days off due to flying regulations, it's bliss.

Apologies to all you guy's out there who's blogs I normally read. I will get round to ya, honest!

Anywayyyyyyyy, Limbo, so why am I in Limbo you may ask? It's a long story, and a weird one.

I've been off for the past week and and a half without a car too as the Dr won't let me drive.

A couple of Tuesday's ago I was having lunch at work and bam, I was out cold on the floor at the time I was laughing my head off as someone had told a dirty joke ;-)

It's like someone pulling the plug from your big toes and then the paralysis starts. You can here people talk, you can grunt but can't move a muscle.

It's like an elephant is parked on top of you, you feel like a dead weight. They managed to get me outside and I came round after what seemed a life time and then bam, off we go again.

Now, this isn't the first time it's has happened, its the third time now but its been spread over a period of about 12 years. The last time was about eight years ago and I ended up in hospital for a week having tests.

They couldn't work out what it was then, there was talk of narcolepsy, but that didn't seem to get anywhere. So today, I'm off to see a neurologist for the second time in my life so let's see where we go from there shall we?

This feeling is horrible. Imagine being able to here everyone around you but not being able to respond. I remember my hands and feet tingling and the paramedic telling me that he couldn't get any blood from the end of my finger as they were so cold.

Three times it happened that day, but they let me out of hospital after going through the last lot of notes and today's the day I see the neurologist.

I HATE feeling like this as I feel I have no control over my body and not being able to drive has made it even worse.

I had to walk to the Dr's this week as Phil was away for two nights, but hey, I liked it and the sun was shining so it was even better. There are no foot path's where we live only cycle paths, so I walked along those.

I'll let you know how I get on and let's hope they find something this time so I can have some sort of closure.

Love yas PP xxxxxx

ANOTHER DAY IN PARADISE.

Tsk, how bleedin annoying! After spending yesterday evening ironing clothes for three nights and four days, I travel for nearly three hours only to find my schedule has changed........urghhhhh. Oh well, at least I get to spend more evenings with the man as he has three days off..... yesssssss!

Today is the hottest day of the year so far and I'm working, sigh... Oh well. Tonight I decided to go for a walk after I checked into my hotel room.
Bliss, the sun was shining, birds singing and I watched narrowboats go along the river. Let's not also forget the crumpet that was out with their girl friends, boy friends or whatever :-p
The sun does tend to bring out the Gods don't you think???

After my walk, I decided to go to my favourite deli and get a lovely take out salad of poached salmon and a green salad with roasted red peppers. Ok, a couple of beers to wash it down with too ;-)

There was a new girl in the deli, not my ususal jolly server. Let me tell ya people, she had teeth like Ned the talking horse and could have eaten a toffee apple through a tennis racket, OMFG I couldn't take my eyes off those tomb stones!

All I could think of was the damage she'd do if she went down an ya.... Thank the Lord I'm a gay man.

Oh well, off to eat my insalata and drink my cerveza!

Good evening to you all....... PP xxxx

A LUVERLY SATURDAY EVENING

Hello People,
What a luverly Saturday evening it is...... I know our country's going down the pan at the moment along with most of the rest of the 'civilised' world, but one thing I do look forward too is the long lazy British summer evenings. You across the pond, may scorn and say what summers? But yep, we do get em and when we finally do, they are wonderfull!
Imagine sitting out untill 10.30 at night and the sun is still going down. If you live in Scotland, it's even later.
So this evening, it's 19.25 here now, I'm sitting in my garden with a chilled glass of wine, writing this load of old cods wallop, hoping someone, some where, will read and comment lolololol.

The planet suite by Gustav Holst in on the old docking station and it's bliss! Oh and did I tell you the man's working this evening? Well, he is.
As much as I love him, it's getting a trifle tedious talking about the skies 24/7 and for those of you that know him, know he can tend to repeat his stories, but then I put that down to age. I, this morning stood in the kitchen with a pint of milk in my hand looking for it everywhere not knowing I was clutching it in my fingers....... FKN SCARY, let me tell yas!!

Tomorrow its supposed to be 24 degrees and we are off to the inland waterways show at Crick. I think this is the first year it aint pissed down with rain for a change, but seeing as we're having a bank holiday this weekend, it's par for the course.

Oh well, off to top up my glass and read a few blogs.

Love yas, PP xxxxxxx

HAIR DOO'S FROM HELL

Well, it's me again......... I've been away since Sunday morning, so have been away for Phil's check flight and his maiden voyage to Istanbul in Turkey. I go home tomorrow and we have 3 days off together, cant wait!!!

I've been doing 12 hour days all week and tonight as it's my last night away I'm celebrating with a cheeky glass of vino ;-)

Some thing made me remember Phil's uniform guide lines. The first line in the mens section is 'no visible signs of make up must be seen' LOLOL He told me that he's never seen so many plucked eye brows and spikey hair do's in his life.

I've given him a stern warning. If he goes camp on me, I'm off!

Have a good night everyone.

PP xxxxx

CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!

Well hello groovers, yup, it's me, back from the dead so to speak. First I want to say thank you all for the mails asking where I was, also for my birthday cards too. Love ya Erin!

Flo is fine, she's enjoying her bingo and what else social services can throw at her. Just someone tell me how to get the old biddy to wash please? Phewwwwww. I'm going to pick her up for a weekend again soon, so watch out for a blog ok?

From now on you'll see me again and I'll start reading yours too..... That's a promise! I've missed you all so much you wouldn't believe it (wipes eyes lol)

No honest, I have but there's a reason I've not been around, so read on ok?

Well, me and the man will have been together for 29 years this year, wow a long time by anyones standards. We met when we were young uns and used to shag like rabbits, 247 365! How times have changed........sigh. 

When I first knew Phil he worked for British Gas as a fitter and I still remember the day he caught my eye as I sashayed past on my way back from being a junior window dresser.  He was getting something out of his van and he winked at me as I walked by. BOING! Instant stiffy.... I walked past like I wasn't interested but looked back when I was at a safe distance incase he was taking the piss.

Who would know after all these years we're still together hey? He hated that job with a vengeance. Lunch always consisted of playing footie in the yard while Friday was stripper day down the pub. To be one of the boys he used to be the first on the stage having the girls dip their tits in his drink...... Good fun huh? Don't think so!

Well, it all got to much for him and he did the knowledge to become a London cabbie. For two years he was up at 4 am every morning and went around London on his moped noting roads, streets and monuments.

In the evening,EVERY evening, I did the call overs with him and frequently fell asleep only to be woken up by a slipper thrown across the room at me. To this day I still remember the first call over. MANOR HOUSE TO GIBSON SQUARE!

Society changed over the years and what was a good job which paid extremely well when the going was good, turned into a nightmare. His nights started to change and he was picking up drunk or drugged up bankers and city boys who were abusive. They must have known something we didn't, well, we all know now don't we????

The credit crunch, recession, call it what you want has taken it's toll on his earnings and he's been bringing home less than what he was all those 26 years ago.

We sat and talked and to be honest, the long hours and low earnings were taking it's toll on him and our relationship, so he decided enough was enough and looked for another job.  

Today after six weeks training, he passed his last exam, a check flight. Yup, he's become cabin crew for one of our most popular airlines. I can't say as he can't even e mail his photo to his family around the world as it's instant dismissal!  Let's just say, it's not the world's favourite airline, but does Stelios ring a bell with any of you Brits?

It's only a 6 month contract which could be renewed, but it may tie him over till things get better.

So every night when I've been home I've helped him revise and get his 'wings'. He got his certificates last week and then as a 'newbie' has been helping out and has done 8 flights. Today he passed his check flight with flying colours if you'll excuse the pun!

He's gone from being a loner with a small select group of friends to an out going person, the transformation is amazing.

I'm so proud of him for doing this at 51 and so proud that I can be part of his life changing experience.

I'm sure you will all help me congratulate the get up and go in him that got him where he is now. I AM SO PROUD!

I love ya Phil, not just today, but for ever.

Gaz......Podgy poof. xxxxxx